Stressed? Jesus Can Help

There is a billboard outside of Cambridge WI that offers a religious solution to a stressed life.
Research has shown that stress reduces a person's ability to resist persuasive messages, like "join our cult."


12/21/12: Zombies

Only the fundamentalist Christian dead rose on 12/21/12.

They were zombies when they were alive, so it seems apt.

They aren't like in the horror movies though. Whatever power or powers saw fit to re-animate them restored them fully back to their normal selves at what looks to be about 30 years of age, completely free of morbidity of any kind, as far as I can tell.

They don't eat people either.

But they do eat food. And since humanity wasn't really expecting a few million more mouths to feed, it looks like an apocalypse will go down anyway.

The risen dead are ornery, and they are assembling, in churches mostly. So those are not a safe haven.

It's not a textbook zombie apocalypse. But it seems like a rather semantic argument at this point.


Christian Radio


I sometimes enjoy listening to fundamentalist Christian radio when I'm driving. I'm simultaneously amused and entertained they are just as convinced that Jesus is coming back tomorrow as they were 2 millenia ago. Less amused when they politicize their outdated superstitions. Believe what you want but "judge not, lest you be judged." Matthew said that.


Heaven has a PR problem.

Their ad campaign isn't selling me.

The idea of spending eternity in the "paradise" described in their brochures, with the type of people I usually can only take in small doses, sounds more like torment.

If they want to persuade me that heaven is a desirable place to go when I die, they should make it sound like Hawaii, spefically the underpopulated Big Island. The South Island of New Zealand would be an even more compelling sales pitch.

I've been told by fundamentalist Christian friends that it is not my place to question God's plan for us in the afterlife. I don't have a problem with that. I have a problem with them referring to it as "paradise" when it clearly isn't everyone's idea of paradise.

I'd rather have nothing. Since the universe is infinite in space and time, eventually my consciousness should emerge again, sometime someplace.


Heaven on Earth

People give fundamentalist Christians a hard time.

But if you think about it, compared to ancient times when Jesus lived in the Roman Empire, today's world is pretty fuckin' heavenly.

I mean, if you were a poor peasant living in squalor under oppressive Roman domination and were suddenly transported to today's "future," you would pretty much have to concur that even the United States are pretty badass by comparison.

Even if you were penniless, useless, and could not speak the language, which would be likely, society would more or less take care of you and you might be inclined to think modern people were angels, by comparison to the murderous sots of old.

Of course, there are a lot of devils today too. Which are you?


Are We Going To Church?

It's Sunday morning, and no. We are not going to church. Church was yesterday. I attended the Osh Kosh Indie Horror Film Fest with my friends who live in OK. It was bloody, thrilling, and irreverent. And totally fictional, which is exactly what religion is.

The difference, of course, is that I and the other attendees of the film fest know that horror movies are not real. We don't believe they are and we don't want them to be. Well, there might be one or two crazies who do believe they are real and want them to be reality. But this is true of religion too.

Because more religious people believe their myths are real, there are more psychotic extremists who do f-ed up things. It is interesting that horror movie buffs are generally more nice and peaceful than religious nuts.