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5.31.2013

Imbalanced

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Sometimes I wish that I could win back my staunchly Christian ex-girlfriend. OK, a lot of the time.

But I can't.

As far as I can tell, the reason we broke up was because I staunchly refused to become Christian. That was her "on paper" reason anyway. I certainly was accepting of the religion and learned as much as I could about it. I still am that way. I learned a ton from her and I enjoy reading about Biblical history. I just don't have a devotional (emotional) interest, but rather an intellectual one.

I mean, I guess it's possible that she just lost interest in dating me for all the usual reasons, and the lack of Christianity was an easy out for her to let me down easy. I'm willing to accept that's true. I am also willing to accept that we had a great relationship and were really close soul mates. That's what it felt like anyway. I cared about her unbelievably much. I still do. There are no hard feelings at all, and I would be there for her as a friend if she ever called upon me for help, no questions asked. I have not one ounce of resentment or angst. She is an awesome person and always will be in my heart and mind.

It doesn't really matter though. For whatever reason, we are not together and we never will be. I accept that totally.

But this creates a bit of a quandary for me. She was awesome - creative, fun, caring, compassionate, smart, and pretty. Everything I could want in a partner. Like I said, she might not have felt the same way, and that's neither here nor there.

What matters is that I now have a higher standard for the kind of human being I want to be with romantically. She had it all. Our relationship was one of those relationships that makes every other relationship seem obsolete and uninteresting. We were always there for each other, very supportive and loving. Everything we did together was fun because we were doing it together. We didn't even have sex because she wanted to wait until marriage, and I was totally fine with that. I could not say that about other girlfriends. My friends still don't believe me when I tell them we did not "do it." But that's because our society expects people to "do it." And that's what made her such a great girlfriend. We had an awesome and fully satisfying love without "doing it." We kept each other interested in other ways. We almost never argued, except about religion, and even then it was cosmetic and semantic, at least to me.

So this all sounds like I have not moved on. I have. I am not an idiot. I know I can't have her back and that's just how it is. I leave her alone and she appreciates that. But I am also unwilling to settle for less. I want a partner who has her values, her intellect, her goodness of being, her charm, and her great attitude.

So even though I have been out with other women since then, they just don't do anything for me romantically a lot of the time. They don't interest me. I now know exactly what I am looking for and I accept no substitutes. My dream woman is out there, and she is in most respects a lot like my staunchly Christian ex-girlfriend.

I'll eventually find her. The sea is full of fish.

Until then, I'll wait.

5.22.2013

Pray, Pray, Pray

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Pray, Pray, Pray
That big tornado away
And as long as your not gay
You won't get blown away

Pray, Pray, Pray
Every night and day
And you will be OK
That's what the Bible say'

If I hear one more person talk about prayer and thanking the Lord with regard to the Oklahoma tornadoes...well, I am not going to do anything. It's not worth my effort.

Well, I will do one thing. I will shake my head in pity.

How can you pray to the Lord when you see that destruction? How can you thank the Lord that you survived when there are dead kids? The Lord had nothing to do with the tornado and nothing to do with who lived and died.

That's science. Nature decides that, following the Laws of Physics, strictly. Nothing more.

Stop praying for the victims and their families and go DO something for them. Prayer does nothing. It sounds good, but it's totally useless to the people who were affected.

Go down there and help out, or work toward ending climate change, or demand that schools have tornado shelters, or donate some of your excessive material belongings to the families who lost their stuff.

But don't bother praying. It serves no purpose. God had nothing to do with it. When you keep someone in your thoughts and prayers, that does exactly ZERO for that person.

If you want to pray, do it on your own time. It's not newsworthy and I don't want to hear about it on the radio anymore. Thanks.