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12.09.2015

The Best Religions

The best religion is no religion at all. Technically atheism is not a religion any more than not playing volleyball is a sport. Atheism literally means no belief in God. It's different than agnostic, which means no knowledge, literally or "I don't know" if there is a God or not. Some atheists call themselves agnostics because the latter moniker is a less loaded and definitive term, but those atheists are pussies.

The second best religion is probably Dudeism, whose prophet, if you can call him that, and I am not entirely sure you can, although you can call him a slacker...what was I talking about? I lost my train of thought. Oh yes...whose prophet is the Dude, one Jeffery Lebowski, and whose principle tenet is pretty straightforward: "Take 'er easy."

After that, Buddhism is probably the most relaxed of the religions, although some Buddhists tighten up their sphincters and get really hardcore about it, kind of defeating the whole purpose. These OC Buddhists will tell you there is a proper way to meditate and crap like that, but the fact is anyone can meditate...just meditate (in its simplest form, focus on your breathing while attempting to eliminate other extraneous thoughts...be aware of when you catch yourself having extraneous thoughts and push them out...with repetition, over time you get better at this "centering" technique). Buddhism is different from other religions because it focuses on inner strength and peace, with individual humans part of a larger universal consciousness, so it is less selfish (do what you must to get into Heaven). It focuses on living in the NOW rather than living for some future paradise (which - I hate to burst your bubble - ain't coming).

Beyond that, take you pick. The rest are mostly self centered hogwash.

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